Sabbath Day

Becky: Again, this blog has rather gotten away from us (or me, I suppose). Oh well - here's a conversation we had recently that you might appreciate.

Hey Dad - the other night, a friend and I were talking and happened upon the subject of Sabbath. He said he read Exodus 31:12-17 recently, and noted that one verse specifically says that the Sabbath was a covenant between God and the Israelites. Just wondering what you thought about that. Also, any thoughts on Hebrews 4, which is the only place in the New Testament I could find that talks about observing the Sabbath. It's kind of tough reading - very abstract, but from what I could tell, it almost makes it sound like as Christians under the New Covenant, our Sabbath is this idea of God's rest, which seems more like a spiritual rest ('Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . . for you will find rest for your souls' ). I'm not at all saying we shouldn't celebrate the Sabbath - just curious what the Sabbath should look like for us Christians.

I asked another friend, and here's what she said:

I believe that in many ways we are Israelites. When we accept Jesus we are adopted into His chosen people. When the end times comes all his people will once again gather on the Israelite ground. Although we are "Gentiles" once we come into a relationship with the Lord we become His people, his chosen people.

So in many ways when you say that the Sabbath was only meant for the Israelites, that is us as well. Therefore we should celebrate the Sabbath. Now we do know that the Sabbath is not about rules but it's about the heart. The Pharisees were making it too strict and had added rules and Jesus cleared them up by saying it was ok to do "necessary" things. (This is when the disciples were in the fields getting food for the day). I think also in this passage he says if your donkey falls into a pit on the Sabbath you can help him, where as strict fulfillment of the law wouldn't let you-according to the Pharisees.

Also on Hebrews 4. I read two commentaries on that passage, one my Matthew Henry and the other by Fausset. Henry tended to think the passage didn't so much have to do with rest but more that we under Jesus have better privileges then those under only the law of Moses. For example when the Israelites rested they could only physically rest they had no spiritual rest in the Lord. (So we get the privilege of both).

And here is a quote from Fausset that might help:
" The "rest" in Hbr 4:8 is Greek, "catapausis;" Hebrew, "Noah"; rest from weariness, as the ark rested on Ararat after its tossings to and fro; and as Israel, under Joshua, enjoyed at last rest from war in Canaan. But the "rest" in this Hbr 4:9 is the nobler and more exalted (Hebrew) "Sabbath" rest; literally, "cessation": rest from work when finished ( Hbr 4:4 ), as God rested ( Rev 16:17 ). The two ideas of "rest" combined, give the perfect view of the heavenly Sabbath. Rest from weariness, sorrow, and sin; and rest in the completion of God's new creation ( Rev 21:5 )."

So honestly I really don't believe that the Lord took away the laws of the old Testement. He came to fill the atonement and offere his blood, so we no longer have to make sacrifices. But never did He say that he removed the laws of the Old T. I will leave you with this passage and I hope you pray and ask the Lord for guidance in all these things:

Matthew 5:17-18 ¹⁷"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. ¹⁸I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."

Your thoughts?

Dad: Rather than give you a long, researched response, I'll give you what you asked for: my thoughts. The only references I'd add to what were already mentioned are the ones where Jesus says that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath, and the fact that remembering the Sabbath to keep it holy is one of the Ten Commandments.

These are my thoughts. There are a couple aspects of the Sabbath that are universal, and by that I mean that they transcend the specific covenants God made with the Israelites, or the church in the New Testament. God rested on the seventh day of Creation, which is one of the concepts referred to in other places as one of the reasons we should even have something like a Sabbath rest. For us that means that we are better off if we don't work 365 days per year. We need regular physical rest so that we can re-create ourselves for more effective work in the long run. That's where the word “recreation” comes from. It's a focus on fun and play for the sake of rebuilding our bodies, our minds, our emotions and our spirits so that when we get back to our work, we are fresh and therefore more effective. In addition, I have noticed that some of my most creative thinking happens when I'm just doing something for fun, which can actually apply to ideas for work.

The other aspect of the Sabbath that is emphasized, and then taken too far by those with legalistic doctrines of the Sabbath is that of keeping it holy. It clearly says in the Ten Commandments that we should honor the Sabbath day to keep it holy. The emphasis here goes beyond having one vacation day per week. It says that we need to have a day that’s holy as well. To help us understand what that means there are a number of good resources. Various commentaries on the Ten Commandments, including Luther’s Small and Large Catechisms are a good help. Another is to see what Christians have done since Jesus did his teaching. One thing early Christians did was to gather regularly, and had a special emphasis on Sunday because Jesus rose on Sunday. Now does that mean we have to have a Sunday Sabbath? I don’t think so. Christianity is a faith of the heart, and the principles here are that we rest regularly, and we regularly gather together with other Christians to worship God, share in fellowship, and meet each other’s needs.

Keep in mind, though, that people are fickle, and it is easy to neglect important areas of life if we have no discipline to keep us on track. The weekly worship service is a great help in that, but you don’t get extra piety points for perfect attendance. Where is your heart? What system of discipline do you need to make sure you rest regularly and stay in fellowship with other Christians for worship and ministry? The answer to those questions is what you need to do to honor the Sabbath. Them’s my thoughts.

Question on Creation

Becky: Wow, it's sure been a while! Life has been busy, and while questions have definitely come up, the time to think about and ponder the answers to them hasn't been materializing. :) But I just wanted to bring this to the table - not sure how much you'll have to say on it, but it's worth a shot. Today I was talking to a guy I've met here at school - he's a biology major, and is pre-med. We were sitting outside, and there were Asian ladybugs that kept landing on us. He said something about how incredible it was to him that animals had evolved so beautifully. . . and we got into a brief conversation about evolution and creation. He's Catholic, so I asked him how his belief in evolution meshed with his belief in the Bible. He mentioned the verse that states something about how a thousand years is like a day, and a day is like a thousand years to God, and said that he believes God set creation into motion, but didn't fully create things in 7 literal days - that it could have been millions of years as things evolved, since God is not bound by time and hours like we are. I asked if he thought God could have created the world in 7 literal days, and he said, yes, he did think that God definitely could. . . and basically admitted that, while he personally believes in a God-initiated evolution, he doesn't really know for sure that's how it was, and won't until he dies and can ask God himself. :) So my question is, what makes us sure that God meant 7 literal days? Why couldn't it have been God creating things and then having them evolve over time?

Dad: Sorry for the delay. Well, first of all, how you come down on this issue – seven literal days, old earth theory, some level of evolution, etc. – is not an absolute of the Christian faith. What is absolute in this category is that God created all that exists. For the finer points, one must consider the absolute of the authority of Scripture and explain what God meant when he said that He made each creature to reproduce after its kind. Also, in the scientific world, you can ask the question of those holding to evolution and old earth theory, “Do you consider a world-wide flood in your study?” Many non-Christian societies from places all over the world have flood stories that sound amazingly similar. Having a world-wide flood can explain many of the fossils, and evidence many use for old earth slow development. It is interesting how many Christian scientists have taken an objective approach to seek what is actually true, considering all possible explanations, listening to historical accounts, and examining as much evidence as possible, and yet secular scientists often refuse to consider certain possibilities off-hand. What then is science?

With the 7 literal days, if God can create it 7 days, but to fit theories we like each day lasting millions of years, we could also ask, “Couldn’t God create the universe as is in 7 seconds?” Why are we trying to fit the Bible’s account into a pre-determined theory?

There are many Christian scientists who have honestly done this work already, and if your friend is truly interested in finding the truth, he should be honest with himself and seek out sources from all perspectives. A good place to start is Ben Stein’s documentary, “Expelled.” It shows how the chief evolutionists are not honest scientists, and how higher education often discriminates against those who believe in, or are even willing to consider intelligent design. Ask your friend if he has heard of intelligent design. In a recent discussion I had, the others I was talking with had not even heard the term. I had heard of all of their theories ad nauseam, and they hadn’t even heard the name of the basic concept of the creation side. They started that particular conversation by claiming that Christians are close-minded when it comes to science. Ken Ham is another source – Answers in Genesis is his organization. The Institute of Creation Research is another excellent option. I suppose they all have websites, and books to no end.

There are so many fun questions that have no good answers such as, “What are the odds that mutations, or accidents have positive results? Do you actually believe that mutations and accidents made improvements in species to the point of developing new species?” The truth is that this process cannot be proven, and certainly cannot be repeated, so it cannot be science. You can ask if any equipment he has ever used has been the result of an accident, rather than the result of someone’s design. He certainly doesn’t need scientific proof to tell that his cell phone was designed by a creative, intelligent being. Ask him how he can tell. How much more complicated, and yet logical is the human body, and yet many believe it evolved by accident. Examining the complex systems of the body that we are only beginning to understand shows that someone much more intelligent than we are designed them.

The final thing to address here actually has nothing to do with science. I’d suggest you ask your friend what is his world-view. He may not have heard of that term, but everyone has one, and it is simple to discover through basic discussion. Ask how he knows what he knows, and let the conversation flow, by just continuing to ask, “Yeah, but how do you know?” You need to have the answer for yourself as well, and if you both believe in the authority of Scripture, then a thorough and continuous study of the Bible should help you shape your world-view, that is if you ignore popular, cultural opinion. I find that people with completely opposing world-views can argue ‘til the cows come home, and be missing each other because they just don’t agree on much more basic issues, such as the existence of God. Pray for your friend, and have a good discussion. Don’t let him get away with pat answers, and don’t you give any either. Just keep asking, “How do you know?”

The College Church Choice

Becky: Hey Dad! Here I am at college, and I'm faced with an interesting decision. There is a group on campus called "Campus Christian Fellowship" and they have Sunday morning services on campus every week. I like the service, and really appreciate the fact that it's so easy to attend, and to invite other people to come along. But, unlike the CCF in Rolla at MS&T, the one here basically considers themselves a "church" of college-aged students. The CCF in Rolla encourages students to get involved in a church in the community, saying that they are a group of believers, but not the established church. I know that you've encouraged me to find a church in Kirksville to go to. What are the pros and cons of going to church on campus vs. off campus?

Dad: Ahh, America: the land of the buffet. Isn't it amazing that we even have this dilemna. We have to think about what we think the local church should be for and be like, and then we can most likely find something pretty close, and then if we don't like it, we can try another one.

For a freshman in college, there is the new dynamic of being in a large group of peers and experiencing their energy and enthusiasm. That can make for an exciting and growing body of believers, and I wouldn't discourage you from enjoying that to the fullest. At some point you may want to ask some more long-term questions, which you are already doing (as usual): What is the local church? What is the purpose of getting together once a week? Is it important to be part of a congregation that will look more like what you will experience when you leave college?

As far as what you should do now, you may want to start with attending the student group to help you develop those positive Christian relationships with fellow students. That can be a tremendous strength as you go through your college years. There will come a time when those long-term questions become more pertinent. You may also experience the phenomenon of feeling like you've outgrown the college group. At some point it would be good to visit some local congregations and worship with a broader age group, and be part of a body with families living life in the real world. Nothing is a better teacher than living life with those who are actually living real life after college (other than living life after college yourself).

There isn't the perfect timing for everyone for doing this, so I suggest you just visit churches on occasion to remind yourself that someday you will end up being an adult with a life in a local congregation. Try out different things now while you can. Making mistakes and learning is all part of maturing in life, and these years are made for that kind of learning. There is much less to lose. Of course I'm not referring to moral mistakes. There is a lot at stake there, and that is one reason why having a solid peer group now is a good foundation for the other areas of learning.

One think you might try is inviting others to go with you when you visit a church and later talk about what it was like. Visiting churches can be an enlightening experience. If you decide to attend a local church, there may be a mid-week service for college students that you could still attend for the peer relationships.

Happy learning.

College and Cults

Becky: Sorry it's been such a long time! Needless to say, I have had a busy summer. The school year has started full swing though, and things are beginning to once again settle into a routine, so hurray for that! I'm in college up here at Truman State U, and I'm meeting a lot of interesting people. One of the girls I'm spending lots of time with told me that her family is part of the Christian Scientist (CS) church. She told me however, that she wasn't sure she wanted to continue in that religion - definitely a searcher. Dad, I was just wondering if you had any words of wisdom about CS. I remember you always saying that it was pretty impossible to talk to certain CS relative of ours about religion. I did look it up on Wikipedia, so I know the basics. I guess I mostly wanted to know if you had any good websites, or books that you could point me to - things that would relate directly to evangelizing to someone with a CS background, or just evangelizing to people with backgrounds in different religions/cults. I know, that's pretty specific stuff and you may have no idea - but I thought I'd ask! I think this is something that will crop up quite often - different religions, cults, and denominations. It's one of the things I'm most excited about in college. What a huge mission field!


Dad: The classic book on cults is Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin. It has an extensive overview of all the major cults. It's been so long since I've read it that I don't know how it's organized, but it gives an overview of each cult and then how they don't fit with Christianity, and how they are wrong. I doubt it's in a local library, but you may find stuff on line.

Read the overview in Wikipedia. It's a good summary of what I've heard before (you may already have). Then ask her what she believes, not necessarily what CS teaches. Politely dig deep, like if she believes in God, find out what she believes about God. If she believes that everything is good, ask her if there is evil or sin. Uncle Howard kept saying, "Everything exists in the mind of God. God is good, therefore everything is good." He had no answer for evil, except it was our inability to remove our minds from the imaginary physical world. I challenged him by pointing out that if we are wrong about the existence of the physical world -- which would not be a good thing -- how can something not good be in the mind of God if everything is in the mind of God and God is good. Anyway, you probably won't have to get too deep with her, because she probably doesn't really know what she believes, kind of like most Christians.

Your best bet is to stay in the Word, and just play dumb and ask a lot of questions that show that anything not in line with God's Word ultimately doesn't make sense. Also, if you pray for her and show true concern, you will be more likely to have the opportunity to share the Gospel. It is really amazing to me that I have never had to convince anyone that they were a sinner, or at least have sinned. What sometimes happens is that people think that God could never love them because they aren't good enough. I think you know how the Gospel answers that concern.

I will pray for you and your interactions. May God give you the relationship and words so that you can be part seeing the birth of a new creation in Christ. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen fast, or you ever see it happen at all. You may be #6 out of 16 that she hears from to get her to the point of giving her life to Christ.

To be a Father. . .

Becky:
In honor of Father's Day, I thought I'd post a question relating to being a father. As teenagers, I think it can be hard for us to realize all that goes into being a parent. Are there things we can be doing, right now, to prepare for parenting? Specifically, what are some things that young men can do now to help them become better fathers down the road?

Dad:
Now is always the best time to start preparing for parenting, or anything else you have set as a goal. A few things come to mind that would help in the process.

First, it is important to be strong as an individual in your faith before you seek to accomplish anything important in your Christian life. Time spent in the Word, worship, prayer, and fellowship with other Christians is important to your faith growth.

Second, a general principle my older brother has often emphasized is that we should use as our examples those who have succeeded and listen to them. So often we are expected to listen to those that have failed and try to learn from their mistakes. Uncle Dave's point is that we have a better chance of going the right way if we are focused on it. In learning from others to parent effectively, observe those whose younger children are well behaved, whose teenagers treat others, especially adults, with respect, and whose adult children have gone on to live productive and godly adult lives. I believe that raising godly, successful children isn't up to chance and just prayer. If you get the chance, ask those who have been successful what they believe about raising children, and you will usually receive some strong advice. It may actually be helpful and interesting to ask parents whose children have strayed what they believe about parenting. Much of what I don't agree with I learned from those parents.

This brings me to the third point: read what the "experts" are saying. The Bible has lots of good principles, so make sure you know them and purpose to follow them. For more specific methods, there are more resources than you can possibly read or watch. To narrow it down, you have to find out what the author believes about parenting, and then follow those with a biblical view. There are a lot of good techniques that may work temporarily, but making kids behave, and raising children to be godly adults is not the same thing. The first is working on outward behavior; the second is training the heart.

Secifically regarding young men who want to be godly fathers, I'd say that learning to work hard, to treat women with honor and respect, to stand up for righteousness, to lead, to have fun with all ages, and to maintain good health. Those areas would be a good start, and set young men apart from a majority of their peers.

Daily Devotions

Becky: Growing up, our family always spent a lot of time reading and studying the Bible, and praying, every day. Whether at church, in our school curriculum, or at home with the family, each of us kids got a good dose of "devotions" every day. I remember that, when you and Mum gave me a Bible for a confirmation gift, you expressed the desire that I spend time in the Word on my own, every day - and thus was introduced to me the concept of "personal, daily quiet times." However -- and I blame this mostly on my second-child, lack of consistency at all, ever -ness -- I did not develop the habit of daily devotions until I had just turned 15 years old. Mrs. Hickle, my youth group leader at that time, was primarily responsible for this, and I'm forever grateful for her weekly encouragement to spend time with God each and every day.

Yes, I am getting to the question. Be patient.

So I was wondering - what do you do about personal devotions? Do you typically have a book you go through, or just read through the bible cover-to-cover, a certain amount each day, or something else entirely? What have you found works for you, and why?

I'll share what I've done in my 2.5 years of experience, and liked and disliked, once you answer. :)

Dad: It's great to have outside circumstances to blame for how we turn out, now isn't it. Your mother and I are also second children, and thus can blame that for our own inconsistencies in developing good habits. Truthfully, everyone can come up with excuses, but they don't produce the life God desires for us.

This area of quiet time / devotions / Bible study has been a blessing and a curse for many Christians. As with any biblical command, principle, or even good idea, it can quickly turn from something God wants for us to enrich our lives and relationship with Him, to a legalistic requirement to make us "good Christians." I say this because we so easily turn something relational into something required. If we are already Christians, then we realize there is nothing we can do to make ourselves right with God. All that is required has already been done by Jesus. All we need to "do" is to accept his finished work. The law doesn't go away, but instead of serving to beat us down to show us our sin, it is there as a standard that motivates us to live closer to the God who saved us from our sin.

Devotions can be an area like this. Many of us have faithfully spent quiet times for both reasons. We may at times be merely checking off our list so we feel like a good Christian, or at other times, it has become a time of real growth in our relationship with our savior. In my experience as a saved sinner, we never get past the temptation to try to earn God's approval, so the struggle to spend personal time with Him will always have an element of legalism; that is, I feel like I get points for doing this. However, as we mature in our faith, we will discover the blessing of this time, especially when we are working through life's difficulties. The Psalms are good examples of David doing this. If you are wondering if you are spending time in devotions for the right reasons, try to see why you are motivated to do it: trying to please God, being able to raise your hand if a group is asked who read their Bible today, or from a desire to grow in your relationship with God. Keep in mind, our motives will never be 100% pure until we are in Heaven, but being aware of the struggle, and confessing our sinfulness along the way, helps keep us pointed in the right direction. Basically the point here is that we want to be motivated more and more by a desire to grow in our relationship with God.

There are so many things you can do for quiet times that I won't try to set up the ideal plan. It would be a mistake to attempt it anyway, because we are so unique. It is better for each of us to discover these things on our own, like a friendship developing naturally. I will list some of the things you can do that have been helpful for others:

Reading the Bible
Some read the Bible all the way through every year. Wow, what an accomplishment! I've done that maybe three times in my life-time, and it's a blessing, but I'm not sure it would be the best thing to do every year, at least for me. Many read the Bible through over a period of years, just so that they read it all. I've done that too, and it is more relaxing than the one-year plan. What I do when I read the Bible through is to underline things that surprise me, or that I hadn't noticed before. Plus, I have a few symbols I use to mark specific concepts, like parenting helps, the trinity, evangelism, the divinity of Christ, key ideas, etc. For me, the discipline of that approach is helpful every few years, but not as helpful if I do it every year. I think it would become more and more legalistic for me. Another Bible reading approach that is not so challenging, and possibly more personal and helpful, is to chose a book of the Bible and read it through. Before you begin each day, pray that God would teach you something for today. Stop each day when you come to a verse that says something that seems to be for you today. Read it again, and ask God to help you use it today. The next day, begin from that point and read on. This is simple, yet it can be a profound way to hear from God each day.

Prayer
In some way, include prayer. This can be something as simple as what I just mentioned above in your Bible reading. It can be much more. Personal prayer takes a life-time to develop because so much of the prayer Christians experience is formal corporate prayer, and sometimes written for an occasion. Personal prayer is more like a conversation with a mentor. It can include various tools like P.R.A.Y (praise, repent, ask, yield), or A.C.T.S. (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication). Prayer can be telling God that you are upset, jazzed, confused, etc. I talked to someone once who said that most of his prayers lately were telling God he was mad at Him. That's prayer, just talking with God. Be bold in prayer. Pray for miracles. God is in the business of action in our lives, not just watching and hoping we turn out okay. Prayer needs to include listening to God as well. He will speak to you in some form if you take the time to listen.

Devotions books
These can be very helpful especially in groups with a variety of ages or maturities, for focused study, or if you feel the need for help or dealing with a specific issue. Some of them are excellent, and some are sappy. They definitely have their place, and can be a good tool. I have used so many of these that I often just turn back to the Bible and see what God has to say to me.

Silence
In our fast-paced lives, this can be a most helpful discipline. "Be still, and know that I am God." Our schedules are not God. I am not God. My troubles are not God. My profound thoughts are not God. My emotions are not God. He is God. Sometime silence is our way of giving up our lesser priorities to remind us of the one true highest priority.

Worship
Here I'm referring to the narrow definition of worship as using music to praise God. (There is a book to be written about a life of worship.) For many this is a key part of their time with God. This can be singing, listening to praise music, or just having it playing quietly in the background as you read or pray. The only times I use this tool is when driving, or if no one is home. Making a joyful noise can turn a personal time into a time when others in the house may wonder, "What's that noise?" However, the car is like a "cone of silence." (If you're driving, sing with your eyes open.)

Journal
Many have found that writing is a helpful exercise in time alone with God. I did a lot more of this when I was in college. What is helpful here is that you can look back and observe what God has been doing in your life, plus it is also a good way to collect and process thoughts into a usable form. Many profound thoughts and prayers have come from time writing.

Generally speaking, I have three main suggestions: First, do something. Don't worry if your are doing the best thing. Do what seems best at the time. Add or revise your routine as it seems necessary. Second, variety is good. This can help you move from requirement to relationship. If you went on a date once a week and you always went to the same places and did the same things, it would get boring. Maybe God gets bored when we do the same things with Him. Third, do what works best for you. Everyone is different, and that's good. God gets to spend time with billions of us, and yet he knows each of us personally. Be personal, and be yourself. My life varies so much every day that it is difficult for me to have a routine. I use car time for some of my focused time with God. (I don't read while driving.) Find your best way to spend time with God, and then do it. What ever you decide to do, keep your motives in check. God doesn't want "good Christians". He wants us. He wants you. He wants me. Today. Every day. All day.

The Skinny on Fat

Dad: It seems that young people, particularly girls, have a real variety of eating habits - everything from those who eat constantly, and are obese as a result, to those who eat very little, and are bean-poles. Putting aside kids whose metabolism allows them to stay thin no matter what or how much they eat, what are your thoughts on the whole teen weight issue? It seems that there are a lot more really fat kids than there used to be, but still lots of really skinny kids. What do you see the overweight struggling with? Are they turning to food as an escape, or do Americans just have bad eating habits? Don’t they realize it’s unhealthy? And, are the skinny trying to be thin because of TV models, poor self-esteem, or a true desire to be healthy?

I don’t expect you to have right answers to these questions, but I’d like to hear a young lady such as you share your observations on this subject. Simply put, why are a growing number of young people over-weight, and at the same time, why are some so skinny?

Becky: Wow, sorry to let this one go so long without a reply. I'm not avoiding the issue - just having a rather hectic end-of-school-year/beginning-of-summer transition! However, I've got to admit that this is a tough one. Weight is a tricky thing to talk about, especially in a day and age when, like you said, we see such a variety, and more people than before on each far end of the spectrum. I've been thinking about it a lot, so I have quite a bit to say - stick with me here, and definitely comment with anything that strikes you as odd, unusual, or right-on. ;)

The whole teen weight issue is hard to really lump into one category and deal with as a whole. There are so many different facets of it, from obesity to anorexia, etc. And, although you said "putting aside kids whose metabolism allows them to stay thin no matter what or how much they eat," we have to realize that can play a major factor in the struggles people have with weight.

So where to start? I guess with the issue of being overweight or obese. It has become an increasing problem, and I think a lot of people like to blame it on the advances in processed and instant food we have. While it is true that the newest innovations with food seem to be growing as far as general unhealthiness, we must also admit that, as Americans, we have a vast array of selections when it comes to our meal options. Yes, these unhealthy foods are readily available - but so are an increasing amount of all natural, healthy, wholesome foods. We have a choice in what we eat, and we, quite naturally, reap the consequences of those choices.

Now, I've always been very wary of blaming things on "environment" - as just stated, each person has choices that they make, and those choices are the primary factors in shaping who they are. However, the blame of the problem America has with overweight children and teens can be placed, in part, upon parents, and the family lifestyles that our culture supports and encourages. Let's face it - what family do you know who doesn't have their life pretty packed with activities? I know our family is very busy - and while we've always prioritized family mealtimes, with good, healthy, well-balanced food items. . . things come up, games and practices get scheduled, and we often find ourselves "on-the-go," grabbing whatever we can, when we can, to eat. More often than not, this results in poor eating habits - and this busyness can also, in many cases, result in in-activity and unsubstantial exercise for young and old alike. The combination of these two things can be deadly for children and teens who aren't blessed with great metabolism and such.

While they might realize that their eating habits are unhealthy, I suspect that most teens are either a. too busy to take the time to change their lifestyle and address their eating problems, b. lack the motivation/consistency to do so on their own, and don't find their parents to be helpful in this area, or c. are too embarrassed or uncomfortable to ask for their parents' help. Especially in situations when the teen has developed a real problem with being overweight or obese, it can be very hard to ask for help in taking steps to fix it. Asking for help is admitting a problem, and that's something that even adults struggle with doing. And adults, especially parents, will shy away from the issue as well - either a. they know that they don't really have the time to address it properly, and so they ignore it; b. they don't want to damage their child's self-esteem, and act like it isn't a problem; or c. they don't actually see the problem at all - they are blinded by their closeness to the issue.

So where does that put teens, who find themselves overweight or obese because of the bad habits they have developed as a result of a busy lifestyle and inactive parents (inactive as in "not active in their lives and problems," not "failing to exercise") ? Well, here is where the "eating as an escape" and the eating disorder issues come in. First, eating as an escape. . . I actually don't have a lot to say on this. Everyone has different emotional escapes, but this isn't one of mine. I think, however, that it's something people tend to do more after they already have bad eating habits - they grow so discouraged about trying to lose weight, that they just give up. Dieting can be incredibly depressing - I'd imagine anyone who tried to do so would eventually turn back to food because they see that they were happier emotionally (although not healthier physically) when they didn't keep track of their food intake. I believe that there are also physiological factors involved, about eating being a pleasurable, and possibly even addicting thing, but I don't know enough about that to comment.

The other extreme seems to be developing some kind of eating disorder because of a weight problem (we'll get to eating disorders in people who don't have weight problems later on here). This is a pretty obvious one - the teen feels the pressure, desire, or need to be thin; they see that they aren't thin; they feel uncomfortable asking for help to lose weight; they realize that dieting is hard, and discouraging; they go the route of either anorexia, bulimia, or something in between, in a last-ditch effort to lose weight. My heart goes out to kids in this situation - so often, I think that lack of communication and relationship with parents is the root of the problem.

So what about teens who don't have a weight problem, and yet still seem obsessed with being thin? Obviously, we can see this is mostly a problem among girls. You asked if it's because of "TV models," and I laughed. Growing up in a Christian home and school meant that I got my fair share of self-esteem pep talks - the typical "God has created you in a beautiful way, and you don't have to try and fit the mold that the world has given when it comes to beauty." It was good stuff - as a result, I honestly don't look at models, celebrities, or entertainers as "the ideal" when it comes to weight, size, and shape. Just look at the cover of any magazine at Walmart, and you'll see a story about this or that actress who is in rehab once again because her weight is out of control - and looking at the pictures of that would make anyone turned off to their idea of "beauty." However, I can see that a solid diet of TV shows, movies, and teen fashion magazines could quite easily cause a teenage girl to see those women as the "norm," and to feel that she must be like that. And, because many of my peers have grown up in a culture where they are bombarded by this stuff night and day, I would say that yes, "TV models" do play a part in the development of an eating disorder, for many girls.

However, the area that I've found most of my friends struggle the most is among their peers. I've had many girls admit to me that, when around friends, they can (at times) be constantly comparing their size to the girls around them. And, when a girl sees that she is bigger than the girls she spends time with, she can start to feel discontent. I guess this would also be where low self-esteem comes in. If that girl doesn't get the kind of love and support she needs from her family and parents, and hasn't been made to feel beautiful, she can quickly begin to think that being thin is something that will cause others to love and accept her. Here begins what can be a life-long battle, always trying to be the same as her peers when it comes to weight and size, and thinking that, if she isn't, those around her won't love her as much.

I would say the main reason we see this problem with teen girls more than other age groups is because of the boy factor - let's face it, teen girls want to be attractive to teen guys. And, while we know that any boy worth our time won't judge us purely by outward appearance . . . we also know that guys are visual and do care at least some about how we look.

The issue of eating disorders then, seems to be more about emotions and self-esteem than it is about health. However, we can't totally discount genuine desire to be healthy among some who struggle with eating disorders, As with obesity, I think that the reason this is a problem is lack of communication. How can a kid tell their parents that they want to be trim and fit, and avoid being overweight, when their parents will either, a. be too busy to care or consistently help; b. brush it off with a "you don't need to worry about this;" or c. freak out, because they think their teen is starting to/already has an eating disorder. Most teens, because they don't have a good and comfortable relationship with their parents, will try to solve it on their own, rather than risk having to deal with one of the above parental reactions.

If a teen does develop an eating disorder, whether because of emotional or physical reasons, parents need to realize that it is almost impossible for them to find the strength to admit the problem and get help. Especially among Christian families - as I mentioned earlier, the steady diet of self-esteem seminars for young girls are helpful . . . but often, they paint eating disorders in such a terrible light, that when a teen suddenly and abruptly finds themselves in the middle of one, they feel guilty or wrong, as if they have let down family, or even God. And where do they turn, if their parents have not made a habit of being an active participant when it comes to the exercising and eating habits of their kids?

So, in summary, I'm going to have to say that the root of this problem in America, on both ends, is parent/teen relationships. Communication is vital, and parents have to take the time to make sure their kids are healthy. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, so I've heard. :)