Leading Others

Becky: Okay, so my first question. (I have debated about what this very first, oh so important question should be. . .and haven't been hit with any great inspirations. So, here is something that randomly struck me the other day and isn't terribly important or inspirational).
Dad, what does it take to become a good leader, especially for a teenager, leading his/her peers? So often, I feel myself get placed in a role where I ought to be leading, but can't seem to do so without coming across as bossy. How can I lead in such a way that people will want to follow?

Dad: Actually, this is an extremely important question, and depending on the context, could be inspirational as well. One reason this is such an important question these days is that we see so many poor examples of leadership. We see the failure of so called role-models, such as professional athletes who use drugs, get involved in extra-marital affairs, or are arrested for beating up someone. These are clearly bad examples of leadership. I remember one athlete, whose name escapes me, saying, "I am not a role-model," by which he meant, he didn't want the pressure of being a role-model because he would be expected to behave himself. Unfortunately, today, famous people are role-models whether they want to be or not, simply because people follow their example.

Here I suppose we can make a distinction between a role-model and a leader. A role-model is a type of leader whom others emulate simply because of their role in society, whether they like it or not. A true leader is usually intentional about leading, or becomes intentional because others begin to follow. In your case, you are a role-model because you are a big sister, and friend to others who are younger who see you as a role-model. People don't get to decide not to be a role-model. They just are because of their role in others' lives. True leaders develop their position as a role-model, or by occupation or calling and lead others to accomplish something.

A truly good leader is difficult to find, but there are qualities of leadership that you will see in good leaders. The first, and most important quality of good leadership is humility. There are many leaders, but few humble leaders. You may have heard the term "servant leadership." This means that a good leader isn't a dictator, but leads by example first so that they aren't a "do as I say, not as I do" type leader. That negative attitude will cause a leader to lose respect quickly. Unfortunately, pride leads many leaders to have the attitude that, "I'm the leader, so you have to do what I say." Humility says, "I am following someone too, because I also have a lot I need to learn."

Second, a leader must have integrity and character. As a leader, you are a role-model, and what you do when no one is looking, will eventually be seen. Your example of humble integrity will say more than your profound speeches. Here is where the world has it backwards. Napoleon Dynamite says that what you need is skills. Actually, what is more important is character. If you have great leadership skills, but lack character, you will compromise truth, engender mistrust, and eventually lead people in the wrong direction. There is a long history of famous leaders who had great skills, but poor character. Yes, many followed them, but where were they really going? A few quick examples are Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin, Jim Jones, and a less extreme modern example, Bill Clinton. Sorry Bill, but while you may have been popular, your lack of moral character led America in taking greater steps toward societal immorality. Time in God's Word, worship, prayer, and time spent with others of strong character will help you develop character.

Third, leadership skills are very important. While character is more important, because it determines the direction you lead, skills are also needed so that you can actually lead. Character takes a life-time to develop, and can be easily destroyed. Loss of character can permanently mar your trust with others. Skills, on the other hand, are more easily gained, and are never lost, just constantly refined. Leadership skills deal with how you organize, listen to others, delegate, train others, communicate, raise up other leaders, etc. You can learn leadership skills by reading, attending classes/seminars, learning from others, and experience.

Probably the most powerful quality of leadership, but also the most dangerous, is vision. All the negative examples of leadership have a powerful vision. But so do positive leaders. Vision is what usually motivates followers. If you have a strong sense of vision, and can communicate it to enough people, you will most likely develop a following. Your humility, character and skills will keep people following. The ability to keep the vision as the primary motivation is also essential for long-term success.

As a teen leader, these principles definitely apply. (What do teens like to be called these days? teens, young people, dudes & dudettes...) Teens flounder because of lack of vision. They don't seem to know where they are going. If you want to be a good leader, continue to seek the Lord as far as your personal vision. If you know where you are going, or at least know how you will find out, you will be a leader among your peers, whether you want to be or not. Then, as you become more confident, which is a by-product of having the above-mentioned qualities, and if you have a real love and concern for your peers, you will become a good leader. If you see that you are becoming a leader, you need to seek ways (mentioned above) to develop character and skills.

With your peers, you will make major progress by simply listening. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Trite, yes, but true. Be patient as you grow. Becoming a good leader takes a life time, but you are well on your way. I see many of these qualities already developing in you. Don't let your role as a leader go to your head. Pride in leadership is considerably more common than humility. It eventually leads to mistrust, instead of relational followers. If you stay humble, you will be more likely to learn quickly.

God bless you as you discover His direction for your life, and in that confidence lead others to what God desires for them.